How Couples Can Be Okay With Resolving Problems Differently
This advice is for anyone in a relationship where you find yourself struggling to have an idea of finding a solution for an argument. There are interactions that you and your partner have had. Through those interactions, you don’t feel okay with the aftermath unless there is a precise analytical 2+2=4 solution. However, does your partner need the same answer during an argument? Probably not. This disagreement can cause even more tension to a situation that is already high-strung.
Think about the situation. You are different from your partner, and your partner is different from you. Because of those differences, you navigate interactions in varying ways. The way you grew up affects the way you deal with conflict and how you look for solutions to conflict. The same goes for your partner. Because of your different backgrounds, you have other ways to solve and overcome challenges in your relationship. Sometimes, these difficulties make arguments extra challenging and emotionally draining. However, your differences shouldn’t be the reason that you fight and belittle each other. I have a massive tip for couples who are looking to be okay with resolving problems differently:
Take A Step Back
That’s right; although it is difficult in the heat of the moment, a considerable step back can be necessary to ease the tension and reset your patterns of thinking and behavior. Let’s say that you and your partner get into a heated argument with each other. As the discussion continues, feelings are hurt, and tense words are exchanged. At one point, your partner says that they need space to think.
At that moment, your thoughts start to spiral. You think that you shouldn’t give them space. Instead, you want to hash it out right away. This way of solving problems is what you learned when you grew up – you want to resolve the issue as soon as possible. So when your partner is asking you for space, what do you do? Open your eyes and open your ears. It’s time that you dig into empathy and understand what your partner wants.
Listen To Your Partner
Your partner is sharing vulnerability – the solution is to listen. When they ask you for space, you don’t need to take it personally. Understanding and listening to your partner during an argument can be challenging to do. In the past, when you keep digging and pushing, things don’t work out as well. Your relationship is an exploration of discovering and understanding each other. Roleplay this situation with your partner and ask what they would do. When your partner says they need space, then hopefully, you respect that and vice versa.
Santos Counseling PLLC is located in Greensboro, North Carolina. Start your counseling journey, check out the amazing counselors, and see which one is a good fit for you here: https://www.santoscounseling.com.
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