Red and Green Flags In Relationships
When I get online, there’s loads of content about relationship issues and relationship problems. That’s why I want this content to be a little bit different. I want to talk about green flags. Green means go! So when you’re in a relationship, and you’re wondering if you should keep pursuing this person, look for the green flags.
Green Flag: Validate Your Feelings
You find yourself in a healthy relationship when someone validates how you feel. For instance, let’s say you have a rough day at work, and you call your partner. You tell them you have a bad day, and your partner says, “I’m sorry you went through that; how are you doing?” They are validating your feelings and giving you space to share. This validation is a massive green flag for your relationships.
Green Flag: Vulnerability
Another green flag is vulnerability. If a person is vulnerable to you, then they care about you, and they love you. Suppose you find yourself in a healthy level of vulnerability. It’s not going to happen overnight; it takes a decent amount of time to build a relationship’s vulnerability. If you’re looking to deepen vulnerability with your partner, there are some questions you can ask each other each week:
- Did you feel loved by me this week?
- Did you feel connected to me this week?
- Where can we improve in the relationship?
- How are you this week?
- Did you have a good week?
- What are you thankful for this week?
- What does our weekly schedule look like?
- Is your love language being met? Is my love language being met?
- Did you feel valued this week?
- Did we set sufficient time for each other this week?
Red Flag: Not Over Their Past Relationship
Whenever you’re dating someone and are still hung up on their past relationship, that can be a significant red flag. If the other person is texting and emailing their previous partner, that’s a sign that they are not over that relationship. It means your relationship has poor boundaries. It can be challenging to keep building your relationship when there is a wedge there. If you see this red flag, then it’s time to stop. After you stop, you need to think about this: how do I deserve to be treated? Think about what you would like out of this relationship. How do you want to be treated by your partner? Once you have that answer, you need to have a black and white conversation with them. Here are some questions that you may want to ask them:
- Do you still have feelings for your ex-partner?
- Are you still communicating with your ex?
- Are you fully present for this relationship?
Continue improving and nurturing your relationship with the Couple’s Workbook: Making Your Relationship Work.
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