Healing and Recovering After An Affair
The journey of recovery is just that. A journey that like most journeys takes time and commitment. I want to share with you a counseling strategy that helps couples understand how to navigate triggers.
Triggers are basically things that poke the bear. Triggers can include being at certain places and the setting itself causes a certain reaction. Like feeling frustrated or sad to the point that you want to leave the setting.
Triggers can also be conversations or thoughts. Each holding a certain amount of weight or pull as it impacts the person. The journey of healing and recovering from an affair helps couples reach the last stage of recovery. The stage that gives the couple the strength to overcome the triggers.
The strength to grasp life and live the life htat they desire.
With your partner, work to answer the following question:
What are the triggers that are connected to the affair?
When evaluating this question, consider places, conversation topics, thoughts, or people. Share with your partner the triggers that provoke you to feel a certain way.
Take time to write or verbally express how the triggers make you feel. Such as, the trigger of going to a certain place makes me feel frustrated or causes me to not want to do anything for the rest of the day.
As you share your thoughts, see if you can reach a place of vulnerability. A place that allows you to be honest and forthcoming with yourself and your partner. This is the place that promotes positive change.
Consider how you feel when you are triggered?
Think of a very detailed experience. Such as when having lunch with your partner and experiencing a thought related to the affair. Then feeling a loss of appetite followed by sadness.
During moments like this, how would you like for your partner to support you?
During this time find ways to open the door for support. Work to build a bridge that allows your partner to reach you in order for them to provide support and for you to share the experience.
As you practice this with your partner, be mindful to let your guard down. Try not to be defensive as being defensive often leads progress in the wrong direction.
Allowing your partner to support you is part of the healing and recovering process as it will work to bring you closer together.
Seeking counseling can directly support the process of healing and recovering. In addition, it is important to maintain a healthy lifestyle. During the process of healing and recovering be mindful of continuing practices that previously supported your physical, psychological and emotional stability. For instance, continuing to engage in physical exercise, spending time with your support system, attending church, and/or eating healthy.
I hope that the reading provided support. If you are in the midst of infidelity take time to explore the relationship book for couples seeking to heal and recover. Re-Building Us.