Why is it that from a distance some couple’s appear to be living in a perfect world? While you and your partner sit by facing obstacles within your relationship. Truth is, most couple’s if not all face at least one stipulating obstacle in the span of their relationship. The issue is not the obstacle itself, but how prepared each individual is to handle the situation at hand.
So… How do couples prepare for the given obstacle that will impact your relationship?
First go back to the root of the relationship. Why did you decide to unite with your partner? Once you identify the answer, it should provide a foundation to your relationship. This foundation needs to be brought to the table between you and your partner. You and your partner should spend time reflecting back on your life and your relationship as it impacts the foundation. In essence the foundation is the core of the relationship.
Common questions to ask your significant other:
What are ten things you appreciate about me? and why for each.
What are some things about me that you have a difficult time dealing with? Consider discussing your differences.
In the past identify obstacles or problems, big or small, that the two of you worked through? What was the problem? How did the two of you work through it? Provide as much detail as possible.
How do the two of you plan to face future potential problems?
What are the boundaries in the relationship?
What are the individual needs in the relationship? Often these needs are unique. For instance, your partner needing more time alone then you as a way to find peace and manage stress.
There are many strategies that can be learned from marriage counseling. One strategy that you and your partner have within your grasp is the foundation to your relationship. You may need to revisit what it truly means to each of you. Give it time. Time provides opportunity to reclaim your relationship.
Common strategies that can grow your relationship:
Eat meals together
Someone once told me that “breaking bread” with is a key to establishing a true relationship. Meet with your partner, spouse, or significant other for at least one meal a day. Sit down, enjoy the meal and engage in conversation. Discuss the day.
Remember you are never too busy for each other.
Never stop trying
Appreciate each other daily
Express yourself to your partner
Be willing to show your partner vulnerability. Express how your day went and the feelings that you experienced. If this feels uncomfortable, you can practice by following the questions below. It can be you or your partner who initiates it:
When you _______ it made be feel ____________. When I feel this way, I want to ______________.
Our last argument made me feel ______________. I when you said _____________, I felt ____________________________.
Make up sooner then later
It is okay to be angry, frustrated or in the complete opposite field from your partner. It is also okay for you and your partner not to share the same opinion and to feel frustrated with each other because both of you are not on the same page.
All of these things are okay.
Whats not okay is for you and your partner NOT to make up ASAP.
Go back to the earlier topic EXPRESS YOURSELF. Practice the statements and work to express how you feel so that you and your partner can resolve being on opposite pages.
Be willing to seek outside help with your relationship
Couples counseling, marriage counseling, relationship help or support – is simply two people who truly love and care about each other asking for assistance. Two people learning that their are a few things here and their that they want to overcome in order to “get back to loving each other”.
If you think about asking for help when you are sick, “its no big deal”. You simply visit your primary physician and receive the support that you are looking for. Couples counseling is pretty much the same thing.
Sometimes two people fall in love and slowly lose connection with their independence. This can lead to people to grow apart. Giving each other space or a platform to engage in enjoyable activities independently improves emotional connection.
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